Wedding Bouncers

Have you ever felt like you have to clean up your life before you could come to church? Or maybe someone made you feel like you didn't belong because of your past, your appearance, or your mistakes.

Jesus tells a very different story.

In this message from Matthew 22:1-14, Pastor Nicole Barnett explores the Parable of the Wedding Banquet and of its most misunderstood moments: the guest without wedding clothes. Rather than teaching Christians to stand at the door deciding who belongs, Jesus reminds His followers that our calling is to carry the invitation while trusting God to transform the people He welcomes.

If you've experienced church hurt, struggled with feelings of unworthiness, or wondered whether God's invitation is really for you, this sermon offers both hope and challenges. It also calls believers to exchange gatekeeping for grace, remembering that the King never asked us to inspect His guests--only to invite them.

The invitation is open.

Will you trust the King enough to accept it... and extend it to someone else?

Linkoln shares his story on why he started coming to Ravenna Church of the Nazarene and shares why you should consider doing the same.

Ravenna Church of the Nazarene
530 Main Street, Ravenna, KY 40472

Transcript

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Pastor Jason 0:00

Some churches hand out clipboards. Jesus hand out invitations. Some Christians think they're the bounters at God's wedding. And Jesus says most people are wrong. I'm Pastor Jason Mark, and this is the Bert Pastor of the Podcast. Maybe no one actually said anything to you. But you could tell from their stairs that everyone was measuring you. They're measuring your past, your parents, your mistakes, or whatever you had, or whether or not you had your life together. Well, if you've ever felt that way, I am so glad that you're listening to this episode. Welcome to the Dirt Pastor and Podcast. I'm Jason Barnett. The Dirt Path Pastor. Pastor Avengers and Bastron. Listen to this term and you're not actually gonna hear me on this one. It reminds us of a church sometimes forget. That's our job isn't to decide who belongs in God's kingdom. Our job is to carry the invitation and trust God to transform the people he welcomes. So whether you've been hurt by church, feel like you have to clean yourself up before coming to God, or simply want to better reflect the heart of Jesus. I think this message will encourage you and challenge you. Here's Nicole with Wedding Bouncers.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

That was awesome, George. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and turn with me to Matthew chapter 22. Um as we're turning there, I uh I have to laugh a little bit because Jason and I have shared numerous times about the fact that we like to cycle through shows. You know, we we love the familiar storylines, we they're predictable when our world just isn't. Um so it's one of those things that we we absolutely love doing, and and it is crazy how many sermon illustrations we get from those shows. And uh um, for example, Frasier. One of our shows is Fraser, and we love this show, it's it's stupid, it's it's you know, this guy is this amazing psychiatrist, and yet he's a moron when it comes to you know common sense. And one particular episode, Fraser and his brother Niles are taking Marty or Martin to out to dinner, and they have this plan to go to this high-end restaurant, but they call ahead to ask about their minimum dress code, and they find out that their reservation was never actually made. So instead they go to Martin's favorite restaurant, which is a place called the Timber Mill. And so Niles and Frazier, they're already dressed to the nines, they're in their suits and ties, and and Martin is in jeans and a flannel and tennis shoes, and they enter the timber mill, and the waitress stops them at the door and is like, sorry folks, you know, we have a dress code. And immediately Frazier and Miles are looking at each other and they're looking at their dad, and they're dressed nice and their dad's not, so they automatically assume it's their dad that that's breaking the dress code, and so they're like, you know, we're sorry, you know, his suit got dirty, and and before they can even finish their sentence, the waitresses come up with scissors and chop off their ties, and they yell out, Timber, and then their ties get tacked to the wall, and and Niles is absolutely appalled because his tie was a Hugo boss. Now, that's a designer tie in current currency, it would be a $200 tie, and they just chopped it off. So he's appalled, and then Martin's like, you know, cheer up, boys, you get a free dessert. Now that policy for the timber mill has always bothered me. Because not only did they have a dress code, but they damaged somebody's property. And the waitress wasn't making up the rules, that was just the way things were. But I just thought that was so bizarre because if your restaurant has a dress code, you can simply ask people to remove their ties. You don't destroy someone else's property, and let's face it, a piece of cheesecake isn't gonna pay for a $200 tie, it's not gonna replace it. And as long as that policy sounds, Jesus tells a story in Matthew 22 about another another dining arrangement and another dress code. And at first glance, this policy sounds very similar, it sounds a little outrageous, but as we'll see, the story really isn't about the dress code at all. In Matthew 22, beginning in verse 1, it says, Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying, The kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who gave a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his slaves to summon those who had been invited to the banquet, but they would not come. Again he sent other slaves, saying, Tell those who have been invited, look, the feast I have prepared for you is ready. My oxen and fattened cattle have been slaughtered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet. But they were indifferent and went away, one to his farm, another to his business. And the rest seized the slaves, insolently mistreated them, and killed them. The king was furious and he sent his soldiers, and they put those murderers to death and set their city on fire. And then he said to his slaves, The wedding is ready, but the ones who have been invited were not worthy. So go into the main streets and invite everyone you find to the wedding banquet. And those slaves went out into the streets, gathered all they found, both good and bad. And the wedding hall was filled with guests. But when the king came in to see the wedding guests, he saw a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. And he said to him, Friend, how did you get in here without wedding clothes? But he had nothing to say. Then the man said to his attendants, tie him up hand and foot and throw him into the outer darkness where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. For many are called, but few are chosen. This is the word of God for the people of God. Thanks be to God. Now, let's first address the elephant in the room. You may look at this passage and think that king is so strict. I mean, he just invited people from the streets and expected them to be dressed to the nines for this wedding, right? I mean, he's saying invite everyone. And then he gets upset when there's somebody who's not dressed in wedding clothes. How can he expect someone pulled him from the streets to already be dressed for a royal wedding, right? Like that's that's how I felt when I read this story for the first time. And honestly, when I asked my pastor about it, he had no idea what to say. But then I was reading some commentaries about this passage, and I learned a little bit of the culture, and it's something that we as Americans, we as modern society, members of modern society, we do not understand. You see, in this day and age, it was customary for a royal family, if they were hosting a formal banquet or a wedding, to actually provide clothing for people who were unable to afford clothing for the event. And so, and so it wasn't so much that this man was not able to wear the clothes, it was that he had refused to wear the clothes. He had been given the opportunity, and so when the king came in and saw this man had gone through the preparation room without actually preparing for the wedding, he was kind of appalled. How insulting is that? So he got thrown out, and you know, maybe the man believed that he was good enough, he was dressed good enough. Maybe that was the case. But according to the king's standard, no. Because he's not dressed for a royal wedding. You know, maybe he thought the king's garments weren't good enough. Maybe they didn't suit him. That's the wrong color. I don't like that color, so I'm not gonna wear it. The king's response may seem strict, but it was not unjust. He wasn't punishing the man's poverty or the inability for this man to dress for the wedding. He was confronting the rejection of his provision. The guest wanted the privilege of attending the banquet without accepting the standard to attend. And that kind of changes the perception a little bit. Because again, when I look at the story and I think, why is the king being so strict? This man just came off the streets. If I don't know that the king was the one fixing fixing up the attire, I would think that the king was being a big mean bully. How dare you ask people to come to a wedding and expect them to dress the part and they can't afford it? Talk about privilege. But that was not the case. The king was extending generosity not only by inviting everyone and extending an open invitation to everyone the servants came across, but he was willing to equip them to be a part of his wedding feast. And let's face it, not everyone in here is married, but I know I was I am. And and I'll tell you, I was so annoyed when my biological brother showed up to my wedding in camo. I was dressed in this beautiful gown, and no, it wasn't a super formal wedding. I wasn't expecting black tie, but the guy showed up in camo cargo pants, a dirty camo jacket, and his hair and beard were completely uncovered. I was annoyed by that, and I was just like, thank god he's taking the pictures and he's not gonna be in that. It's unacceptable for someone to show up to a formal event in grungy clothes. I think we all can agree on that, right? I don't know, it's kind of safe to assume that if somebody did show up to our wedding in sweatpants, we might show up in the door. I don't know, unless they're family. But our focus today isn't actually on the dress code of the wedding. I just had to had to address that. Because that's what we tend to focus on when we look at this passage. We focus on the dress code. What's expected of the wedding guests? But our focus today instead is on the slaves, it's on the people that Jesus or that that the king sent out to bring people to the wedding celebration. You see, the king was excited to celebrate the wedding feast with those who profess a closeness with him and his son. These are people who had relationships with him. These are people who regularly said, Hey, I know the king. I'm I I'm like this with the king. And and instead, when when they got the invitation, they're like, I don't really want to go. I don't have time for that. Why went away to handle his farm? He had crops growing and he wanted to be in for the harvest and he didn't want to waste time at the wedding. Another went away to his business because you know he's a CEO of a mega corporation and he ain't got time for that. And others actually went out and were just like, you know what, you're hounding me. These slaves are annoying me, they're not worthy of my attention, so I'm just gonna kill them. So, you know, if they woke up and chose violence, the king was gonna respond in kind and burn down their burn their houses down. But again, that's not the point. The point is what happens after that. The king's looking at this empty wedding banquet, and he's like, we can't celebrate without people. How boring is a birthday party when nobody shows up? How devastating is it for a parent when you invite your kid's whole class to a birthday party and nobody comes. And this king has invited everyone to this wedding feast and nobody comes. He's looking at an empty banquet hall and saying, we gotta fill the seats. This is my boy's wedding. And so he tells his slaves, he's like, hey, go out and invite everyone. The good and the bad. If they come, I'll prepare or will prepare them for the wedding, and they can go into the banquet hall and enjoy the celebration. And so they go out and they invite everyone. Every street corner, every every person they saw, they invited them in. Like, hey, come to my master's wedding. Take part in this joyous celebration. They go out and invite everyone. It didn't matter if that person had a terrible reputation and they knew it, they invited them. It didn't matter if it was a cradle and they knew it. They invited them. Because the king commanded it. Go out and invite everyone. And that is where the focus lies because this the slaves went out gathering all. Both the good and the bad, the people who looked like they belonged in a wedding, and the people who didn't. They were told to invite everyone, the people loyal to the king, as well as the people critical of him. They were told to invite the wealthy and the impoverished, the honorable and the swindlers. There was no group. None that the king barred from an invitation. The slaves' instructions were direct. Don't assume worth, just invite. And they did just that. And when the guests made the decision to attend the wedding feast, the king provided them with whatever was necessary to make them presentable. The slaves were not told to invite people who looked the part. They were not told to tell people to go home and change. And then come to the wedding. And notice the king provided the clothes, not the slaves. The slaves were not responsible for making sure everybody was ready for the wedding feast. In other words, the king never appointed his servants to stand at the door and check wardrobes. Hence the reason why somebody got in. He needed wedding inviters. And that right there is what makes this parable so important. Because as we know, a parable is a story, right? It's not an actual situation. This didn't actually happen. It is a simple story that is trying to convey a message about God and his kingdom. So what message is Jesus trying to get his followers to understand what this story is? What message is Jesus trying? To get us two thousand years later to understand with this story. The message is simply this. We are not called to fix people. It's not my job. It's above my pay grade. We're not called to judge who needs fixing or how they need fixing. And we're not called to stand at the doors of the church and decide who's welcome in and who's not. We are called to carry the invitation into the highways and the streets and trust the king to prepare his guests. You see, far too often we as Christians tend to focus a little too much on who we believe is worthy. We talked about this in Sunday school. Where we like to look at somebody else's sin and say, that is so much worse than mine. I'm worthy, you're not. You have to clean yourself up first. You have to fix yourself before you will ever be welcome into the family of God. We're okay with inviting some people to church. We think, okay, they fixed this situation, so now they're ready to hear about Jesus. Now they're ready to accept the grace of God. For some reason, we look at people and decide that we need to help them get clean before we invite them into God's family. If I can just get them off drugs, then they will make a good addition to the church. But not until then. If I can just convince those two people who are living together but are not married to just get married, then it wouldn't be embarrassing for them to come to church. And if that person would stop using such vulgar language, then maybe it wouldn't be so uncomfortable for them to be in the church sanctuary. And we've stopped acting like servants and started acting like bouncers, ensuring that the riff raff don't come in. But that's not our job. That is not a wholly sanctioned position. Our job is not to determine which clothes need to be changed before somebody's acceptable. Our job is simply to invite everyone. Because while there is a dress code for holiness, there is no dress code for the preparation room. And that's what this is. This is the preparation room. There is no dress code, physical, mental, or spiritual, for people to be welcome in the doors of this church. Emily, I'm gonna pick on you because I love you. Emily is wearing pajama bottoms today. Guess what? That is totally fine. Lincoln's up there wearing this cowboy hat. Guess what? Totally fine. There is nothing wrong with people coming in to this church as they are. Amen. There is nothing wrong with people coming into this church in clothing that makes them feel comfortable because this is where God takes over. This is where God prepares the heart. And you know what? He doesn't he doesn't care what somebody's wearing. There is no dress code for someone to be invited. Physical, mental, spiritual, there is none. Everyone is welcome. And in the preparation room, the king changes their clothes. And he dresses them in what he deems fit, not what the slaves deem fit. There are no prerequisites to come into church and to be welcomed into the family of God. There are no steps someone must take before they can step up to the altar. And there is no actual dress code to enter the church family because God says to invite everyone. But here's the thing: we actually take on two roles in this parable. We're the slaves, yes. We are called to invite everyone. But we're also the people in the preparation room. We are also the ones who have been invited. We have entered into the preparation room to participate in the wedding feast. And the king is providing the clothing. He is changing us and preparing us according to his purpose. He is taking our flesh and transforming it. He is turning us into a reflection of him. And you know it's different for everyone. Because for some, he's removing the shoes that are so quick to rush into anger. For some, he's removing the sunglasses that are blocking the truth. For others, he's removing the shirt that blocks the heart and keeps people separated from one another. And he's removing the dirty gloves of hands that thought their actions were enough. Little by little, he is taking our rags and giving us new garments. He's correcting habits and attitudes and situations that stand in the way of a right relationship with him. And as long as we let him, as long as we are willing to be transformed when he says something needs to be changed, we will be ready for that wedding feast. But the issue is some of us will respond saying, I'm okay the way I am. We have entered the preparation room, but we don't want to change. Well, I like those shoes too much. They give me, they give me a justification to be angry when somebody offends me. Those glasses are important to me because they keep me from having to change my mind when I see the truth. We use phrases to keep from changing. Phrases like, I am entitled to my own opinion. Or I'm too set in my ways. You know the phrase, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. That's a lie. That's a lie. Because God, when he gets a hold of somebody's heart, can teach, can make that old, rotten, stubborn heart brand new. So, no, you're not too set in your ways. You just don't want to change. We use phrases like, I'm entitled to live however I want. And if you love me, you'll tolerate it. And if God loves me, he won't try to change me. And we refuse God's transforming grace. And so when we attempt to enter that wedding feast, we're going to be greeted at the door by our king. And he's going to ask, why aren't you ready? Why aren't you dressed for the wedding? Church, we cannot make that mistake. We cannot let our stubbornness, our pride, our vanity get in the way of being transformed. But church, we also need to understand that it is God that does the transformation. It ain't me. And if God is not telling somebody to change their clothes or that part of their outfit, then my opinion doesn't matter. I'm just a slave. When the king offers you new garments, you need to wear them. When he calls you to lay something aside, do it. And when he clothes you with his grace, his righteousness, and his holiness, receive them with gratitude. And ask his servants, never forget your assignment. Don't spend your life deciding who looks ready for the banquet. Spend your life carrying the invitation to everyone. Your political rival. That annoying neighbor that keeps encroaching on your property. That annoying kid that sits across the classroom from you. They cut off the ties and then they hand them the slice of cheesecake. As if that somehow made up for it. You know, they took something from Fraser and Niles. But they didn't replace it. And that's how we are when we go around judging somebody's appearance. When we go around judging somebody's somebody's lifestyle, when we go around judging somebody's habits. We're pointing out that they are wrong. We're cutting off their ties, and then we're saying, and here's a slice of cheesecake of my acceptance. That's not enough. That's not replacement. The kingdom of God works differently. The king asks us to lay something down, but he never leaves us empty-handed. When he removes our pride, he replaces it with humility. When he takes away our bitterness, he replaces it with forgiveness. And when he strips away our self-righteousness, he replaces it with his righteousness. When he asks us to surrender our old garments, he doesn't leave us naked, he replaces them with something better. But there's another contrast between the timber mill and the kingdom of God. See the waitress stood at that at the door with a pair of scissors. And every person who entered, she decided if they fit. She decided if they looked like they belonged. And then she enforced the dress code. And she cut away everything she thought didn't belong. And too many Christians have become spiritual versions of that waitress. We've become our own little wedding bouncers. We stand at the king's door looking people up and down and deciding who belongs and what has to change before they're welcome. You need to quit that first. You need to clean up your life first. You need to look more like us and dress more like us, and then you're welcome first. But that was never our job as Christians. The king never handed us the wardrobe, and he never granted us the scissors. He handed us invitations and sent us out. That's our job. To go out with invitations. Our job is very simple. Invite everyone. Invite the good, but invite the bad. Invite the broken. Invite the religious, yes, but also invite the skeptic. Invite the addict. Invite the wealthy, invite the poor. Invite the cohabitating. Invite the lesbian, the transgender, the invite the prostitute. Invite everyone. And trust trust the king to dress his own guests. Because God has not called us to be bouncers. He has called us to carry the invitations with open arms into the world. And you know, I don't know where each of us is at today. I can make assumptions, but again, that's just me being a bouncer. Maybe maybe we are the bouncers. Maybe we're trying to bar the door and prevent people from coming in who don't look like us or sound like us or believe like us or or vote like us. But this is the preparation room. And maybe God is telling us to take off the bouncer clothes and put on clothes of this of a slave who's going to welcome people.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

We don't know how to surrender the clothes that have become so complex.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

So we we hold on to it. And we need to let that go. Or maybe we're not even weary because we invite them in and it's somebody drives a mouth and says, Do you know what the part here? So we're getting angry. Maybe we never replaced the invitations in our hands that are designed to cut people down. I invite you all. I invite everyone here. I invite myself to be the faithful slate.

SPEAKER_03 45:34

Pray with me.

Pastor Jason 45:43

Maybe you are listening while driving to work, sitting on your porch, or walking through your neighborhood. Wherever you are, I want you to know that this moment can be holy. Maybe Nicole's message reminds you of a time when you felt like you had to earn God's love or prove yourself before you could belong. Maybe someone made you feel like you had to clean yourself up before you could come to Jesus. Or maybe you've caught yourself standing at the king's door with a pair of scissors instead of carrying his invitations. Whichever one of these ascribes you, hear this good news. The king is still inviting people to his banquet. His invitation is for the broken, for the skeptical, for the religious, for the addict, for the doubter, and the faithful and the wandering. His invitation is for everyone, including you. So don't wait until you have your life together. Come to Jesus today. Let him forgive what needs forgiving. Let him heal what needs healing. Let him change what needs changing. The King's invitation has never depended on your ability to prepare yourself. It has always depended on his grace. Now would you pray with me? Lord, thank you for inviting us into your family when we had nothing to offer but ourselves. Thank you for loving us before we ever deserved it, and for clothing us with the righteousness of Christ instead of expecting us to earn it. Forgive us for the times we've judged others before loving them. Forgive us for the times we've acted like gatekeepers instead of servants carrying your invitation. Give us eyes to see people the way you see them. Give us courage to invite people without prejudice, fear, or hesitation. And as we follow you, continue transforming us into the people you've created us to be. And may our churches become places where grace is experienced, truth is proclaimed, and every person is invited to discover the hope found in Jesus Christ. We ask this all in the name of Jesus. Amen. Well, today's message encouraged you. Would you consider sharing this episode with someone? You never know who needs to hear that God's invitation is still open to them. If you'd like someone to pray with you, I'd love to pray with you. You can reach out through the links in the show notes or contact us through the through the dirtpath um Facebook page or the RavNaz website. Um you can also email me at dirtpathpastor at gmail.com. That's dirtpath, all one word, all overcase at gmail.com. Email me. I'd love to chat with you. And if you'd like to support this ministry, um, I encourage you to do two things. Subscribe to Dirt Pastorman Podcast, so that way you never miss a new message. And also, you can support this ministry, but just know every time you you donate to this ministry, every dollar we receive from the podcast is given directly to the emergency relief ministry of Nazarene Compassionate Ministries. You see, when disaster strikes around the world, families living in poverty often have no insurance, no savings, and nowhere to turn. So your support helps Nazarene Compassionate Ministries provide food, clean water, shelter, and hope to people whose lives have been turned upside down by crisis. And together, we can help remind people that they have not been forgotten. Well, thank you for listening today, and remember, don't stand at the king's door with a pair of scissors. Carry his invitation with open hands and an open heart, trusting him to do what only he can do. Until next time, grace and peace to you in the name of Jesus. Thank you for listening to this episode of the Raven Passment Podcast. It's recorded live the Ravina Church Nasserie, located at 533.com. If you'd like to send me a message, just simply use the link in the show.